argument analysis feedback

asianasen

can anyone give me feedback on this? i would like to know where i can improve on my argument analysis skills for part c. any constructive feedback welcome!

i wrote this in 5 minutes on an article i found. https://archive.md/fOsOz

Highlighting the decline in the popularity of economics among high school students, the Reserve Bank of Australia is worried that scholars are not economically educated for financial decision-making due to economics' mathematical transformation. Author Ross Gittins refers to recent commentary by the Reserve's Emma Chow in a commentary article titled 'Want more economic students? Drop the obsession with maths, published on the 3rd of February 2025 in The Sunday Morning Herald. Through a sarcastic, satirical, and critical tone, Gittins underscores the contribution of heavy mathematical formalism to the diminishing appeal of economics. Appealing to educational policy and decision makers, Gittins explains the decline whilst calling for change; affecting national economics students, especially high school and university students.

FH

asianasen hi! great introduction i must say. a few, very small, points of edits...

for your first sentence, it is quite wordy. also pretty sure the date of publication isn't necessary to add.

when you mention the reserve bank of australia the first time, put "RBA" in brackets, because you refer to them as "the reserve' the second time- instead you'd refer to them as the RBA.

besides that, well done!!

velvet

asianasen this is really good! if i were editing it, i would get rid of the date of publication and expand more on background of the piece.
but its very good! if only i was this good in year 8/9 hahaha

Color Rush

asianasen @color rush You mention tone, but you don’t analyze how that tone affects the audience.
For example: "By using sarcasm, Gittins critiques policymakers and suggests their approach is out of touch, which may provoke reflection or embarrassment among educational leaders."
Dig deeper into how the language choices aim to influence different audiences.

TSE-Tuition

This introduction looks great! My only criticism is your last sentence:

Appealing to educational policy and decision makers, Gittins explains the decline whilst calling for change; affecting national economics students, especially high school and university students.

The word 'affecting' is dangling as a verb - who is doing the affecting?

asianasen

chxin ym not commenting if u not gon help smh

asianasen

chxin dude, being fr now, dont do this. just dont comment if you arent going to help, people are trying to ask for help here (me).

chxin

asianasen mb gng

asianasen

hii! just another body paragraph i quickly typed out in 10 mins (no planning, this is a raw copy)
can anyone gimme feedback on this? js want to know where to improve, etc.
any feedback welcome (and thank you all)!!

this is the article for sum context: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/feb/01/donald-trump-fantasy-politics-reality-conservative

Beckett contrasts Trump's authoritarian rule with illusions, reality, and allusions to reinforce the paradoxical dictation placed upon America. The duality of Trump's presidency is described as 'an epic political fantasy' and a 'frightening intrusion of reality', as this contrast exposes the illusory nature of his reign - selling the dream of national revival whilst unveiling the fragility of American democracy. Beckett extends this paradox through Trump's political promise that 'politics can nevertheless solve everything,' yet simultaneously highlighting how 'corporate America is happy to have an authoritarian government'. This deliberate juxtaposition challenges the seductive and populist narrative that Trump promotes. Invoking historical authoritarianism, Beckett aligns Trump with 'hard-right strongmen', where 'history's greatest civilisation', a bold claim of utopia through Trump's reign, alludes to such dictatorial figures such as Hitler. Both 'imperial power[ s]' delude the nation with 'constant lies and exaggerations', ultimately accentuating the undermining of America's democracy through Trump's 'authoritarian government'. Hence, by contrasting fantastical promises with America's depressing reality, Beckett prompts readers to confront deeper truths of American democracy.

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