chxin okay so
i heard about macrob a term into year 8, and thats when i started preparing for it. if im being honest, i didnt have a lot of motivation at first, and i thought it was overrated. my parents made me join JAC for tution, but I didnt want to go so i did it online. at first it was okay, but i wasnt really interested, cuz it was yapping about stuff like circle degrees or smth - i got bored and being alaina i started watching youtube while i was in tution. i did this for a few weeks until my parents found out. they told me stuff like, 'unless you dont find the motivation yourself, you'll never be able to do anything' and started blackmailing me (indian parents) but now that i think back on it, im so grateful for them doing that. i started calling my family friends that were in macrob, blah blah blah, and i started getting excited and determined, but it wasnt enough to make me study. now, a month before the test, i was talking to these two boys in my class and they were yapping about how much they studied for the test. only then i realised that i was COOKED. i cannot tell how much i studied after that. every day i would try to write a story in under 20 minutes, i did so much maths, etc etc. it started stressing me out, i couldnt sleep cuz of anxiety. i dont wanna sound entitled or full of ego but i was in the top 5 people at bmg (intelligence wise) but i was still rlly worried. i would spam macrob videos at home, and then at the start of june, i met this website. THANK GOD I DID. i cant even express how much it helped me - like minded people, free practice stuff (ill stop glazing now) but that happened and yeah. compared to some people, i didnt study a lot, it was a two week phase. in the last weeks, i learnt to study smarter, not harder OH I JUST REMEMBERED I USE A WEBSITE CALLED EDACCELERATOR IT WAS MWAH BEUATIFUL thanks to varun for sending it to me but anyways that happened for around a month. on the day of the test i couldnt sleep, i didn't eat I VOMITED IN THE MORNING my dad bought me food when we were going as well but i couldnt eat at all. at the test, i was calmer, but still quite anxious. i kept telling myself - 'im doing this for my parents. im doing this for my friends. im doing this for my future. if not for myself, do it to make them proud.' at one point i was like 'me and my crush will get in' CRINGE IK I WAS DIFFERENT BACK THEN (spoiler i got in and he didnt lmao) im yapping a lot arent i but yk how the calming strategies r kinda cringe? they're actually really helpful in the test. i kept thinking of the day i would walk into macrob, thinking that i will make my praents proud. it worked. anyways i can elaborate more on that if someone asks but thats all i can say for now. after the test i didnt think i would get in after hearing what everyone said. this arrogant guy in my class was like 'oh it was so easy' (he didnt get in but i didnt know that at the time) fast forward to the day of the results i tried to log in at 10 but i didnt know my password. i would watch people become successful, some fail, and anxiety rose. at night, my mum told me that my dad wanted to check when he got home, and they told me to open it. i got mad and ran away, thinking i didnt get in, and they forced me into doing it. when i saw the first round offer, I FUCKING CRIED I WAS SO HAPPY AND IN DISBELIEF but anyways
