3/09/2025
Hey! It's been a while since I've written in here (don't come for me plez), lowkey forgot about it! Anyways, here's a not so little update on my vce journey so far!
I literally hate it.
Every day it feels harder and harder to wake up and do things. Like, I usually wake up at 5.30-ish to get ready (I like taking my time). For context, it takes me about an hour and a half to get to school, and I feel like it's slowly taking a toll on me physically and mentally.
On average, I usually have about 5.5 hours of sleep a night, and yea, it's not as great as it seems. It's hard to focus in all my classes, and I feel like I'm really behind on coursework and like content in general, especially in Physics. So like, yea don't be like me and get all your 8 hours in please ðŸ˜
I'm doing two 3&4 subjects, which is Chemistry and Extended Investigations. For Chem, I'm doing so bad. At the start of the year, I was aiming for a 95+ ATAR, but now it seems like it's hard to get even above an 85. I'm doing painfully average despite the fact that I study and work hard on everything. It's discouraging seeing the people around you doing amazing while they just play games in class. For Extended Investigations, I'm doing considerably okay compared to everyone else in my cohort. Since we are all forced to take it, a lot of people are not taking it seriously, which is fair because a lot of the people in my cohort are going to be taking 7 3&4 subjects (like two in Year 11, and 5 in Year 12). Originally, my plan for Year 12 is that I'll do my other subjects + a Uni Extension, but there are literally no Uni Extension subjects for chemistry. The only thing I can do is like the History and Philosophy of Science (by Melb uni), and I can't do humanities subjects to save my life, so I'm redoing Chemistry again next year! How fun! Wow!
So far for my math subjects (Methods and Spesh), I think I'm doing okay? I failed one Spesh SAC so far, which is way less than what I anticipated going into Year 11, and like Methods is easy for me, so it's pretty chill for me rn. As for Physics, oh my freaking days I don't know what I'm doing, at all. I hate my Physics teacher so much, and like he pisses me off so bad. Like I swear he picks on me because like one time we were doing a worksheet in class, and I was like 'enthusiastically' doing it with my friend, but then I turn around for one second to talk to my friend, and immediately this fuck yells out my name and tells me to do my work. I freaking hate that guy sm like genuinely so much. But so far I haven't failed any Physics SACs, which again is a huge surprise given that I barely pay attention in class. But booyah I guess?
Mentally, I'm so tired. I'm tired of waking up, and I'm so tired of everything really. I literally have no motivation to do anything recently, and like on paper I have like a good life -- I have a good family that loves me, I have the greatest boyfriend anyone could ask for, but I'm just so, tired, that's the only word I can think of. Guys I'm in therapy don't worry, but like vce really takes a toll on you if you don't have like healthy coping mechanisms (which I clearly don't). Like always always make time for yourself, and like have hobbies, and like take walks. Just be healthy guys.
Anyways, I think that's the end of my rant, I'm just going in circles at this point.
Oh yea, and if anyone is interested in reading my like, final report for Extended Investigations send me dm! Any help would be greatly appreciated 💖