it has definitely been a hot minute (my brain is so slow it took me a little too long to spell definitely). i never anticipated for vce to get to me as much as it has. i’ve never actually admitted i’ve been struggling before to teachers and have had to ask for a bit of extra time with some work because i’ve been too stressed out to even think about doing work. productivity is at an all time low, school is making me cry a little too much and i’m so stressed it’s badly impacting my sleep. not ideal. i feel like when i look back on my journal and i read this, i’ll either be thinking that i should never have felt this way or a sense of relief and growth from today. but hasn’t been good at all.
this week has been really messy. i guess monday was fine— i had the business sac which i probably bombed because it was really lengthy and had minimal time. tuesday it went downhill really fast. having a really hard time in general math understanding the topic because my teacher doesn’t explain it well at all. he kept telling me i was wrong and i could feel the tears creep up on me, and it was really demoralising because he didn’t even explain how i was getting them wrong. then i realised i needed to admit i need some help for EI because i havent done work for that in weeks because it stressed me out, and i could also feel tears creep up when i asked for guidance. it’s somewhat hard asking for help when you’re an independent person. his help meant nothing i’m still forced to write a 4000 word draft by next wednesday and i barely have words. then wednesday just screwed me over in every possible way. today wasn’t too bad, i guess i’m just finding healthy ways to cope with the stress.
a lot of people at school are feeling the same, which is relieving because i feel as if i’m not alone in all of this. i did have a teacher ask how i was going because i’m apparently not myself, which was nice despite my best efforts to not look worried in class. anyway, hope everyone is taking care because every step of self care is important in ensuring great mental health. always here to talk if needed don’t feel alone!!
edit: sorry this post is so negative i wish i had something positive to comment on.
