Hi, I am in year 12 just days away from externals but still have questions (:I) !

For English how do I develop a strong thesis statement and preview points.
For example I have written this (I think the main problem is that I don't know what they want so I am confusing the rest?)

question: How is the reader invited to view the concept of masculinity in Macbeth?

my thesis:
Shakespeare demonstrates the concept of masculinity to the audience based on the natural order and morality during the Jacobean era. This includes that attributes such as the ability to use power and act with strength and to murder the King require masculinity.

points:

  1. Macbeth shows masculinity; Lady Macbeth says that she cannot commit the crime of regicide due to her femininity and she wishes to get male masculinity to commit these crimes
    2...
    3...

Could you please help me! 🙁

    purpleunicorn

    Did Macbeth in y10, so I’m not too much help on that side of things… but the gist of English is actually quite simple. I really wish someone told me this wayyyy earlier.

    You want to come up with 3-4 big statements the author is making about society. Lit calls these ‘views and values’ (v&v) - but I like to call them arguments.

    U then use these for each paragraph. So instead of talking about characters, or things that happen, u make the first sentence the overall argument. Then use the events/characters as evidence…

    Eg.

    Point 1: Masculinity is considered desirable in society. Shakespeare presents this notion through the actions of Lady MacBeth. As she is realistically powerless, she becomes more masculine to become powerful…. Etc Expand on the idea a bit. Fit Macbeth in here too.
    Thus power, associated with masculinity in patriarchal society’s, is held by men, but can be adopted through the actions of women.

    Point 2:
    So on and so forth….

    Hope this helps!

    It’s weird. It’s not ur opinion. But it’s ur opinion on what the author’s opinion is…. (I think shake spear thinks society should…. Except it’s in formal writing)

    P.S: I can’t remember what Shakespeare actually says about masculinity, nor do I share these views. I’m just rambling about structure. (Women don’t have to be masculine to be powerful)

        God

        Thanks for that.

        But to clarify my question in the introduction they are asking for a thesis statement and I am not sure how to write that.

          Ahhh... sorry

          Also I should add I'm writing from the VCE perspective (so I may be barking up the wrong tree so to speak) - but is ur 'thesis statment' just a fancy way of saying ur contention/point of view?

          If so - then that seems ok. Unfortunately you have a 'how prompt' which makes things harder (eg, we're doing a film in y12 - so we have to talk about how X uses point-of-view shots to immerse the reader in the film blah blah blah...)

          Demonstrates isn't a great verb - as how can one 'demonstrate the concept of masculinity'? It doesn't really mean anything...Kinda just filler..

          How about this:

          A microcosm for belief's in the Jacobean era, Shakespeare's 'MacBeth' (underlined) explores the multifaceted aspects of masculinity. Through the play, he accentuates (highlights) the relationship between power and masculinity, and emphasises its desirability. However, he also warns of the consequences masculinity - how it can corrupt one's identity. Ultimately, Shakespeare contends that one needs a balance of both the masculine and feminine ideals to maintain their integrity.

          Sor ur args are:

          • masculinity, is desirable (because it provides power)
          • it can corrupt ur identity (stepped in so far that should he wade no more.... can't wash blood clean from these hands, etc..)
          • U need a balance of both masculinity & femininity.

          Hope this helps ; )

            God

            That's a very strong thesis statement or point of view. Thanks

            I'll keep working on it, English isn't my greatest subject!

              @purpleunicorn
              Howdy! I hope you don't mind me adding in a QCE perspective here lol.

              Basically, how our teacher taught us was that the thesis can be simple, as long as you follow HITS for the introduction.

              H - Hook (a quote relating to the question, e.g. "Unsex me here!" (Act II))
              I - Intro (introduction to the play e.g. Macbeth is a play written by Shakespeare, about a Scottish warrior who is led by ruthless ambition to commit regicide. (or something along the lines of that))
              T - Thesis (It can be as simple as, "Shakespeare invites the reader to view the concept of masculinity as highly dangerous.")
              S - Sub Arguments (This is evident through Lady Macbeth, who feels as though she must become more masculine to act upon her desires. Banquo and Macduff present the ideal male figure for the Elizabethan era and finally, Macbeth, whose misunderstanding of masculinity leads to his ultimate demise)

              You can also tie this in with ambition, as Macbeth through more ambition meant he was more masculine sorta thing.

              Para 1: Lady Macbeth
              2-3 quotes

              Para 2: Banquo and Macduff
              2-3 quotes - talk about their loyalty

              Para 3: Macbeth
              2-3 quotes

              The main way to approach a question is, if you get a character question, your three arguments are the themes.
              If you get a theme question, your arguments are three characters that are very prominent in this theme.

              If you have any questions, just ask!

              -jinx_58

              God Demonstrates isn't a great verb - as how can one 'demonstrate the concept of masculinity'? It doesn't really mean anything...Kinda just filler..

              Trust me, QCAA is just confusing man, like in chemistry, we have a cognitive verb called "appreciate" 😆

              =jinx_58

                  jinx_58

                  Lmao…. That sounds about right. Imo, English teachers are just one rung above PE teachers…. But don’t tell anyone I said that.

                  I’m not a fan of the character based approaches. Sometimes they’re unavoidable…. But I reckon they take away from the complexity of the price. Like it analysis has to be twice as complex to get the same mark. (More or less)

                  So if it’s something like; Does MB condone ambition?

                  You have one part disagreeing, one part agreeing, and then one part saying ‘despite this, it is really….’

                  Eg. Ultimately ambition is essential, but in moderation.

                  That way u can challenge the prompt as well.

                  You still use characters, but u don’t mention them until the second sentence in each paragraph….

                    Hi everyone,
                    im new on this forum, and Im currently heading into IA1, but im really confused.
                    We have to write a 1000-1500 word opinion column (but moreso analytical) on the book the great gatsby, and the documentary, Park Avenue: Money, Power and the American Dream and base this column on the question, "How does the film and novel explore the best or worst of humanity?"
                    Using this, we have to explore one of the main concepts present within both pieces (e.g. Money, Happiness, Greed, The American Dream, Class, Honesty, Consequences, Power etc.)
                    I was hoping somebody could help me with this, since my teacher said that this will be the hardest assessment piece we will have to do in Unit 3 & 4 English.
                    Thank You! 😄

                      a month later

                      My English exam is on Monday, where we write an analytical essay in response to an unseen question. It's meant to be an external mock exam, so no book. I'm doing 'TKAM' by Harper Lee.

                      If you guys could give any tips this weekend I would highly appreciate it. I would specifically like advice for what to do in my 15 mins planning time and how I can remember 30+ quotes on the day. Writing time's 2 hours but that might not be enough! 😢 I'll take any tips I can get.

                        DumbNerd
                        Hey DumbNerd,

                        I haven't studied To Kill a Mockingbird (I did MacBeth) so I wouldn't be able to give any specific advice about the book. However, in the 15 mins of planning, the first thing I did was write down all the quotes that was relevant to the topic from all the 30-40 quotes I remembered. I then planned all 3 points of the analysis with the quotes I would use in each paragraph as well. By that point, you shouldn't have that much time left but if you do, I would probably start crafting the first part of the introduction on the planning paper so all you have to do is rewrite it in the real paper when its time.

                        As for how to remember the quotes, I used a program called Anki. It was extremely effective for me to memorise 30+ quotes because it only required just over day to memorise which was not much time at all. I used the cloze deletion feature so I would close/hide the first half/bit of the quote and I would have to write the rest of it out. Let me know if you need any more info on Anki.

                        Hopefully, that helps and feel free to ask any more questions!

                        • PP

                            DumbNerd
                            Howdy!

                            I did TKAM in year 10, don’t remember much lol but I remember planning out a few practice essays to TKAM questions and how I would approach them. I’d do at least one from like the top 3-4 themes so I was well rounded before the exam.

                            I absolutely agree with everything @PhytoPlankton has said. Just wanna add on, during planning time, I suggest you plan out your paragraphs and have at least 3 quotes at hand that you know you can use to drive your argument. I was taught the PEEL structure for paragraphs, and I can explain if you want me to, just ask!

                            -jinx_58

                                18 days later

                                jinx_58 PhytoPlankton

                                Thanks to both of you so much - I got my results today and it was a 16/20, B+ !!!! 😆 I honestly did not expect to do that well since I only read half of the book yet I still pulled it off.
                                Sad thing is my overall grade is 69%, when going into Lit next year requires a 70% 😡 , but I'll speak to my teacher about that.

                                Anyways, I still really appreciate the advice that both of you gave and will remain positive. P.S. I had already finished my essay with 30 minutes left lol.

                                      DumbNerd
                                      Good on ya mate!!! It was very well deserved!! Keep up the great work, and take it easy!

                                      Enjoy your holidays,
                                      -jinx_58

                                        2 months later

                                        I'm doing general english now because my mark wasn't enough for lit. Anyways, I have my IA2 coming up and our topic is 'cultural ownership'. I was thinking of talking about K-pop since it's something I know quite a lot of lol but I can't really find many links between the two (as of now). I would appreciate if I could get any ideas or just tips for writing my speech since I'm confident in presenting.

                                        Hope y'all have had a good start to this year.

                                          17 days later

                                          Did anyone do Romeo and Juliet monologue here? I kind of need some help ;-;

                                          -Leeshi

                                            Leeshi I actually did one last year so I could give you some insight. I played as the Nurse so that was fun...

                                                Yes please. Like I need to add concept, time and place, aesthetics and all that. I'm playing Romeo so all I will be talking about is love.

                                                The nurse is really funny 🙂

                                                -Leeshi DumbNerd