MHS successful candidate yeh ik, js for the people out there who is struggling w/ writing
Victorian Selective Entry High Schools 2024 - Results!
Dosanjh (NHS) whats so funny mate
hey can everyone please rate my writing and tell me which grade it will get is sehs. I am currently in yr 8 and in Glen Waverly secondary. Can you also please give deatiled feedback if possible. Thank you.
title: You are locked in a room that says: DO NOT OPEN
I blinked open my eyes. I spun around, scrutinizing every inch of the room, which apparently had no door. I was simply locked in.
At the very corner of my eye, I saw a small wooden box. It was full of moss and covered in cobwebs. I carefully tipped forward and blew on the box to get rid of the dust. The box had giant, dark red letters scrawled across it:
"DO NOT OPEN!"
My mind was spinning. I pondered whether I should open the box. My thoughts inched closer and closer to temptation. A quote surfaced in my mind:
"Curiosity isn’t a sin, but caution should always come first."
But at that moment, my body didn’t care. I pounded forward and thrust open the great, heavy lid.
Immediately, I started coughing. Dust billowed out like smoke, swirling around me like the aftermath of a meteor crash. I waved my hands, trying to clear the air.
"There is nothing in this stupid box," I thought savagely and turned away.
I was stuck. Forever.
I curled up on the cold, hard ground, hoping this was all just a nightmare. Just as I was drifting off…
A raspy voice creaked, "Leave this place now!"
I jerked awake, my eyes darting frantically around the room.
"I was probably dreaming," I thought, hopefully.
Suddenly, another voice cackled maniacally and whispered, "No, stay. You are trapped, and there is nothing you can do about it."
I froze. My pupils widened in horror. My heart slammed against my ribs.
"Go to the box," a hoarse voice choked out.
I bolted towards it. My hands trembled as I lifted the lid once more—and to my bemusement, a small trapdoor lay hidden inside.
Without thinking, I flung it open and scrambled inside, crawling desperately through the narrow tunnel. My breath came in ragged gasps. The walls were cold, damp, and suffocating, but I kept pushing forward.
And then—light.
I burst outside, gasping for air. My legs wobbled as I stood up, and I instinctively turned back toward the place I had just escaped from.
It wasn’t a room. It wasn’t even a box.
It was a massive steel container.
Etched across the surface in bold, eerie letters were the words:
"SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENTS."
Messithegoat1234 maybe turn ur sentences into paragraphs by like combining them I guess, atleast like 5 paragraphs should be good. Rather than saying how u felt maybe u could "show" like instead of saying my legs wobbled u could say smth like, "my legs were noodles" and instead of the person escaping, maybe he could stay trappe. for increased tension.
.. thanks for the feedback, this clarifies a lot of things i was confused about
MHS successful candidate so should i use "I firmly" or "I staunchly"
mhsbandar dont use "I" js say ur statment
MHS successful candidate oh ok thanks for that
just to clarify: instead of a sentence saying "I strongly/firmly/staunchly believe that dogs should not be kept on leashes," i should just say "dogs should not be kept on leashes"
wait what did I miss out on again
Dosanjh (NHS) nothing much, jus people giving suggestions to other people's writing.
.. Oh ok tysm
do u guys have any creative writing prompts for me to use pls
you are doing too uch telling . Do showing the actions and emotions
I need acces @MauryanBroski