my year 12 vce journal!! (hope you enjoy the ride)

monolith

FH
The amount of money I have wasted on decorating my shelves...

I finally finished my english work after a gut wrenching 6 hours xd

FH

monolith WOOOOO GO U!!! school is back tomorrow and i've got the "oh shit school holidays is almost done and i need to do so much" panic 😭

monolith

FH
Same here
Gonna sit in the lounge room and ban myself from anything until I get this mess all done :v

FH

POST 16 - 15/04/2024

i am done with school and its only been an hour T-T. 11 weeks of term 2 is going to be hell.

monolith

FH
Only around 20 weeks left though, then we will be (sorta) free.

FH

monolith the vcaa exams is going to be the end of me. I WANT TO DROP OUT AT THIS POINT

monolith

FH
That's what a lot of us think, It's constantly on my mind but since I really want to go to uni, finishing Year 12 this year is the easiest way.

FH

monolith i know i love being dramatic because why deal with any emotion logically when you have the option of losing your mind. but yeah, i wanted to take a gap year but i barely came to terms with myself to do work after a 2 week break, let alone a year and a half. guess im going uni next year—

monolith

FH
I'm planning on doing a 3 year course for International Studies without a gap year, basically setting myself up for failure but I'll be fine.

Just gotta pass VCE normally first XD

FH

monolith that sounds so interesting! i want to study part of my course abroad it would be so much fun.

FH

POST 17 - 22/04/2024

help i am so demotivated i’ve been procrastinating writing one of these up for a while now, but i have really really sore legs and can barely move so i might as well pass the time. school has been honestly super shit. i’ve never hated going to school more. i just feel like everything is really boring and i don’t feel any urge to do my work. i have a lot of sacs coming up and im not panicking like i usually do. i know i should study harder, but every time i try to i just get sidetracked and don’t bother. and i am constantly tired.

i’ve done nothing for general math this term. mostly because i almost finished the whole course during the holidays (i’m probably burned out that’s why i don’t want to do anything #selfaware) so im using that as an EXTRA study class right now. english is so much fun i cannot deny. im writing a poem for crafting texts and i get to show off my fancy vocabulary which is so much fun LMAO. business management is… eh it is really tedious. i have my sac for that this friday so i guess i should study after i write this (whether i do that or not is a different story).

EI? what’s EI? haven’t touched that stuff in a while. just doing the required course work and putting it on the back burn because why not.

psychology is alright. im really digging memory because i don’t have any at this point in time. my psychology TEACHER however really made me mad. we did a topic test for the learning topic and it was our last class for the term so i didnt really try because i was extremely tired. i got a 76 which is good for me because i didnt study a single minute and she says “i expect so much better from you.” like sure thanks whatever, but it isn’t a sac and i don’t really care if it isn’t a sac, despite that being a bad attitude to have, but if i am studying for every test my school dishes out im going to burn out so quickly. the sac for that is in three weeks time, free me.

life is great on a personal note. taylor swift dropped a DOUBLE album which i am still eating up (almost haven’t stopped listening for three days now) and UGH it is so good. a little biased but SDUFIWUFNIUWNIUN IT IS MY FAVOURITE RIGHT NOW.

i’m going to go look productive so my parents don’t yell at me. hope y’all are loving life and this spring-like weather if you’re in melbourne!!

monolith

FH
Welcome to the world of burn out >->
Just got to focus hard in class and chill out while doing your own thing at home, eventually you'll fall back into the groove of studying (hopefully)

If any of our teachers said that to any of their students, the entire school would know about it and there would be tons of complaints about them. You just shouldn't say that to students, especially when 78% isn't even that bad, I would kill for 78% on any of my latest sacs xd.

Edit: Only song I'm disappointed with on the new album is the header "Fortnight". I saw Posty on it and assumed it would hit hard, instead it's just a basic boring snoozer -3-

FH

monolith WHOA IM WORKING BACK TO FRONT HERE… FORTNIGHT IS SO GOOD DON’T EVEN. that music video was so meaningful i analysed it an unhealthy amount. and yeah my school is so harsh for grades, and i know i can do better than a 76 but not when im burned out like this. all my classes have bad averages so like i don’t know why she targeted me T-T.

Leeshi

I guess your teacher has nothing better to do than to cook you. Happened to me in one of my classes where my friends and I were getting roasted by the teacher. (she did it in a joking way). ;-;

FH

POST 18 - 27/04/2024

hey! well last time i wrote something here, i had a horrible ache in my legs. that’s better, but now i have a nasty cold, which has really took it out of me the last few days. i got sick on thursday, and thank goodness it was a public holiday so i rested as much as i could because i had my business sac yesterday. i was really sick yesterday but went in because i didn’t want to deal with the whole reschedule a sac process. but the sac went fine, im just even sicker today which is shitty because i have so much to do this weekend but no energy whatsoever.

i got my EI sac back from last term, and considering i’ve never done anything like this before, a 14/20 was pretty satisfying. talked to my teacher yesterday, he said i yapped a little too much about establishing context about the research, and need to use more recent sources. got another sac for that in 2 weeks, and i really haven’t done work for that since the term went back.

im almost done my english sac for creating texts, which i am sad about because i love writing creatively and wrote a poem which was super challenging but its finished and she really liked it. it was about trans rights in america, and a “protest” that occurred but didn’t really happen if you know what i mean. gotta write the reflection up on wednesday, and i wanted to have that drafted by today but looks like that isn’t happening.

OH and psychology. i was really lazy on the first week back. we did a worksheet, and i couldn’t be bothered doing it so i just submitted the blank worksheet on google classroom. NEVER AGAIN. she actually checks and she saw i returned a blank document, and told her i “accidentally” submitted the original and i’ll hand in the complete copy when i finish my food. im a people pleaser, so i did it all BEFORE i ate so it looked like i genuinely didn’t, but now i know there’s no easy way to get out of it.

yeah that’s about it, my whole personal life is lacking anything amazing right now, so hope everyone is ok and enjoying the vce thrill (that isn’t so thrilling)

monolith

FH
Sounds rough. I have never had the balls to submit blank work, I always just say "I forgot to submit it" and do it after they question me about it. I wish we had creative writing now in English, but we are still stuck on the culture and heritage of Australia crap, so boring and mundane. I absolutely love creative writing. Off topic, but I was creatively drained for like 2 years, I had a very plain imagination, however, once I watched the latest Puss In Boots movie for the first time, it all instantly came rushing back to me. I got top marks on the long form story SAC we did last year.

I'm still going with the flow. Discovered a way to get into my Uni Course without needing an ATAR, so I'm even more relaxed about VCE then ever.
I was away sick from school for basically the entirety of last week. It was pretty fun, I could finally catch up on some missed sleep and finish some passion projects I had set aside. Honestly I would kill to catch covid right now.

FH

monolith i wouldn’t really submit blank work, it was the first time i had done it, but i have been really demotivated and didnt want to do more than the bare minimum, and turns out that WAS the bare minimum.

tbh i cackled a bit during the puss in boots imagination story it is so random yet numerous. hope you’re feeling better, the cold is going around like crazy im surprised i manage to stay well for long enough.

FH

POST 19 - 05/05/2024

hey! last time i wrote here i was crippling sick… feeling a LOT better minus a chesty cough that doesn’t seem to want to go away. oh well, maybe my lungs will explode and i get a special exception and a 99 atar!!? i wish T-T.

i’ve been on a real productivity streak lately. i worked for like 8 or 9 hours yesterday, focusing for a solid 2.5 hours straight during one block which is amazing because i have a horrible attention span. great to know my psychology final exam is achievable without me wondering to different imagined futures (yes the psych reference) during my exam. i woke up at 8am to do work, because i have a lot going on in the next few weeks. general sac, psych sac, english sac AND an EI sac within the space of 2 weeks. lucky me (not).

EI sac starts tomorrow. extremely scared. i know my current average will get me a good study score, but i want to get an even better study score but i just feel so lost in my own topic sometimes. update: i am researching the question 'how do the behaviours, experiences and perceptions of late adolescent females who reside in metropolitan melbourne influence their participation in physical activity?' and am completing an interview to collate data. i did a pilot for my interview questions the other day and it went SO BAD, i wish i was being dramatic right now. i redrafted all my interview questions, so i’m hoping later on today when i try piloting again that it doesn’t go AS bad. i regret doing interviews though, it is really going to test my social anxiety. then again, a 20 minute oral presentation at the end of year is sure to be worse… at least i know the people i am interviewing.

starting doing practice exams for general because the content is relatively straight forward (other than networks…). they’re fun i don’t know why i would say that about an exam but i find them fun to do. i better do well on the exam with all this practice MANIFEST FOR ME.

yeah other than that everything is quite boring. i feel like i’m deprived of a life because of year 12. anyway, i don’t feel safe going out in public there are WAY too many weird people carrying weird shit on them. OH- so many of my friends are turning 18 and i am getting jealous because i don’t turn 18 until november and they get to do all the fun legal stuff while i still pay for children’s admission LMAO.

hope yall aren’t burning out. til next time…

FH

POST 20 - 07/05/2024

not really a post, more a rant. because i really really really am mad at the library staff right now. i have a study period, and my study centre is a seperate part in the library, and the study centre itself is no talking, has to be dead silent. there are tables outside of the study centre where you can work QUIETLY with other people. you can talk, just don’t scream.

LAST WEEK 8 people got sent to the coordinators because they were being too loud inside the study centre. today, i asked the librarians (because we’re practically adults and still have to ask) if my friend and i could use the tables to work. there was 2 kids doing sac’s, but there are three tables and heaps of room. i got told no because i’m apparently “too loud” even though i don’t even speak. and then they said how there were kids doing sac’s and we couldn’t work out there. BULLSHIT.

yesterday i was doing my EI sac out on the table so i can get the authentication form signed off. there were people sitting ON THE SAME TABLE AS ME. EVERYONE WAS BEING LOUD. IT IS LITERALLY THE MOST UNFAIREST THING I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED IN I ACTUALLY WANTED TO TELL THEM HOW UNFAIR THEY WERE BEING. they’re all old ladies so like… surprise! hope they’re glad they ruined my day.

thanks for attending my ted talk 🥱

monolith

FH
That's so dumb. If we have to do our SACs late then you do them in a designated office, what kind of school would just sit them out in the library? If anything, give the SAC kids the no talking study room and make all the studiers work in the main library.

FH

monolith i agree. because i have 2 seperate study blocks, one of them has over 50 kids and to spread them out in the library isn’t feasible. they just treated me unfairly but the sac was open book and i had my earphones in, but that isn’t the point.

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