• Year 7-10

  • 2024 Yr 8's hoping to get in a selective school

hey could someone read this essay and see if its good or bad
SHOULD THE GOOGLE STREET CAR STOP BEING USED
The google street car is an advanced piece of technology that unlocks all pinpoints on earth however, it could be held for a greater purpose than giving home locations and where the McDonalds down the street is. This stunning piece of tech can be used for a vast space of opportunities such as Law Enforcement.

Firstly, The Google car can and should be used to give assistance to law enforcement or city councils to tackle down many barriers that creates a bad city. The google street car has a camera and while it uses it to record locations it could also be used to record crimes such as destruction of property/vandalism. This crime can be seen as spray painting shops or "egging a house" and a very common but unheard one is changing your property without a permit. The street car has the ability to record all these crimes and without it will just deteriorate the name of the neighbourhood.
Secondly, While the city/local council may seem like it has all the resources in the world it doesn't this is due to a common misconception being that every government whether it be federal, state, or local in reality the only government that has a wide variety of resources is the state and federal government due to most money of the taxpayers going to them and while people say "Blood is thicker than water" that is not the case for the government on top of the food chain.
Additionally, the street car can record from all angles so if an illegal drug deal is going on it can record it and these crimes can be as safe as stealing a 5 dollar note from the ground all the way to a drug ring. Since the street car only overlooks houses in neighbourhoods the government has been missing out on using it for alley ways, abandoned shops that aren't on the cars usual route and even inside of shops while just driving by.

Some may state that it is an invasion of privacy, however if someone were to coerce your child to an illegal activity and the cops had no way of finding out but word was out on the street your reputation would be ruined and what if the child decided to kill someone it wouldn't be an invasion of privacy it would be a murder and that is the reason why the google street car shouldn't be seen as something nosy and up in your business it should be seen as a revolutionary tool that can help elevate your city/suburb to the best it can be.

The google street car can help law enforcement and who would not want to be safe that is why we should use the google street car for our safety and we should use it now!.

PS: I was timed for this and i planned for three minutes wrote it in fifteen and used two minutes to correct spelling mistakes

    80% rating. Pretty good

    i think the real topic will be bit more broad i hope

    Ronaldo work on your grammar brother, especially capital letters and commas. ask chatgpt for specific problems with your grammar and try to work through them.

      11 days later

      Ronaldo pretty good. try using "to begin with" and "in addition" etc. but try not to use firstly or secondly

        Ronaldo u can only bring 2 black or blue pencils in a zip lock bag with a clear plastic water bottle and maybe a pencil into the exam itself, mole phones have to be completely switched off not on silent. Also calculators and any other for of electronic devices re not allowed. Students may bring an analogue watch to keep track of time by themselves although no smart watches are allowed. so ye, hope that helps and gl, 🙂

            Ronaldo It is terrific but incorporate a collocation at the start of your sentence such as: 'The Google Street car is a new cutting-edge and innovative technology...' This could furthermore engage the readers and ameliorate your essay. Moreover, your paragraphs are mostly clear but some sentences could be broken into two or even removed since it can create a sense of confusion and interruption of flow in your sentence. Improving this will result in a smooth text that is fluent. In the time limit present, the essay is poignant although strengthening the conclusion can provide readers with a good note to lave with. This can strengthen and improve your marks in the test.

                mhs-grinder mate his essay is not poignant man, there was no need for you to say that, even when you shared your essay, you were using good vocab, but again, too over the top, examiners don't want to look only for good vocab, but for the flow of the sentences, bruh "collocation" like its only a discussion man. no offense or anything but what you do currently translates to your own writing and I'm sure, you wont come up with all these words in the 20 min time limit for each so for you instead of focusing solely on vocab, improve your flow and meaningfulness of your work. (again no offense but when you say it like that it comes across as vain and servile)

                    no it isn't i remember reading somewhere on the website it wasn't allowed, unless I'm mistaken

                    mhs-grinder poignant means sadness or smth like that uk that right also it couldnt be poignant bc it talks about why google street cars should be given to our government

                      Is a digital watch allowed? Not a smart watch but a digital one, since I don't have any other one.
                      If not I'll have to go buy one 😭

                      And for those asking how to change an answer, they'll show on the day. But you just cross it out and shade your new one
                      To change a second time you shade and circle the new one

                      It was like this last year, and this answer was released by acer