mhsbandar dont use "I" js say ur statment
Victorian Selective Entry High Schools 2024 - Results!
MHS successful candidate oh ok thanks for that
just to clarify: instead of a sentence saying "I strongly/firmly/staunchly believe that dogs should not be kept on leashes," i should just say "dogs should not be kept on leashes"
wait what did I miss out on again
Dosanjh (NHS) nothing much, jus people giving suggestions to other people's writing.
.. Oh ok tysm
do u guys have any creative writing prompts for me to use pls
you are doing too uch telling . Do showing the actions and emotions
I need acces @MauryanBroski
19 days later
sorry guys i wasnt active for so long here is my essay
The perennial debate continues; regarding whether the Government should endorse having only four days of a school a week. What will this change benefit? Having one less day of school significantly improves carbon footprint and improves student’s mental health. Picture this: One less day our life does not revolve around hectic work schedules can benefit us in so many ways even the environment.
To begin with, one of the most significant impacts on our environment is the transport-related carbon emissions. By having one less day of school, we would eliminate transport-induced gases released into our atmosphere by twenty percent. Not only that but also having one less day can help us reduce electricity usage and therefore fostering a more healthier world.
Furthermore, having one less day of school can be beneficial for their mental health. Students now can spend more time continuing activities that can’t be completed because of vigorous school hours. Schools bring unwanted stress and one less day may also help them focus more.
However, schools offer an environment for socialising. When socialising with others, students feel more boisterous rather than staying at home. But this perspective is not at all accurate. Schools are the focal point for bullying and can cause many to feel unsafe in what should be a learning environment.
In summary, schools should reduce by one day which will foster a more well rounded learning environment and a healthier atmosphere.
Sierra its solid dont get me wrong but not infallible. here are a couple things i would change
the introduction lacks some context, its almost like jumping straight into the argument. i would open up with a statistic or just a general statement introducing the topic.
In the 4th paragraph you sorta argued for the opposing side which is something you definitely don't want to do. It weakens your argument while giving the opposition an advantage.
Your paragraphs are not bad, but I would use a linking sentence at the end of each one restating my argument.
The conclusion is just a sentence, I would restate all of my arguments (dont introduce any new points) and end with a powerful sentence to leave an impression on the reader.
Overall its pretty good, just some minor flaws and its a bit short, in the exam u should expect to write a little bit more. lol but im no expert so take it with a grain of salt
Yeah writing is very tricky
guys if I get into lets say suzzane or nossal, can I still try for mhs yr 10
chxin Yes I believe so