Hello all, just wondering if anyone could help me with my English. It is my worst subject and really do want to improve (i got a 15/25 last term for my psmt) and have an upcoming imaginative response next week. If anyone could help me improve the draft I would really appreciate it. For context, I am giving a voice to a silenced character in the short story 'examination day', it is where children must take a test when they turn 12 years old and if they are too intelligent for society they are killed. I have chosen to write as the interviewer in third person limited. For clarification, I have made the interviewers name the same as the initial stories main character so that I can compare the two easier (don't know if it is a good idea).
I will leave the draft below for anyone who is willing to help! thank you.
English draft

"Question number 5. How far away is the sun?" said the interviewer.
" Ooh, I know this one. 5 thousand Miles!" said the boy. Hope was brought to the interviewer as he had to tick the answer wrong for the first time, he knew what was going to happen. As an interviewer, Dickes job is to often provide saddening news to families. he often hears "Why does life have to be taken because my kid is smart?" Pain pulses through his veins because he knows there is nothing that can be done. At the end of each day, A small group of tears form at the corner of his eye, forming a full tear of distraught, rolling down his face whilst being joined by more and more droplets of agony forming a puddle of sorrow on the ebony hardwood of his miserable and empty house.

As a child Dicke was excellent in school, he enjoyed the peace of reading and lived through a happiness fulfilled life ingulfed with learning. This was, until he turned 12 where his whole life turned upside down. Not once did Dickie does not know something. He would read for fun, learn for enjoyment, and repent never observing a situation when he could. Unfortunately, he would never know how this would impact his life, it failed him for in the exam he scored 100% in. Life was destined to end for the future interviewer, but the government took him, they needed more slaves to "work" for them and Dicke became victim to the helpless trap. his life for 8 years after the exam was fulfilled with excruciating amounts of training, then, he was an interviewer bound to end the lives of thousands of children.

Now, Dickes day consists of misery, it is a vine moving all over his body taking control of every part of his body, the vine grows and shoots more pain into Dicke every time he signs the death wish of these children. Constantly, he asks himself, "Is life worth it at this point?" At the end of each day of work he sits at his desk staring at the sheets of paper that contain the last thoughts of many children waiting to be approved for death. Just sitting there, silently waiting for the vine to attack. Until it all stops, this is when he met Dicke.

Just like any other day Dicke goes to work resentfully and unaware of what today will bring him, the first child he meets is called dickie, just like himself, they are both smart, had loving families with magnitudes of happiness surrounding them. The test is the arch nemesis of these feelings. Dicke thinks to himself "is this kid really like me? I hope he doesn't end up like me! or even worse. Dead!" The interview grows fond of the death of Dickie just like with any other kid, but this isn't any other kid. "Question number 5. How far away is the sun?" said Dicke.
" Ooh, I know this one. 5 thousand Miles!" said Dickie. A little smile was made to provide hope to the interviewer, little did Dickie know that the end of his life is approaching.

As Dickie continues to ace the test, the Vine grows and covers every part of the interviewer’s body. 97% is the grade the young boy received, Now is the time the interviewer resents the most, Dickes body is numb to the pain and the thought of death somehow brings hope to himself as it would release him from this life of agony and pain. Confirmation of Dickies death was sent through, but the interviewer had enough of the suffering and pain endured through this so called "Job" of his. Thoughts like, Can I run away with him? Would we survive? Will he end up like me? erupt through his head and create a storm of anxiety to destroy all hope.

The interviewer has all his exam papers taken at the end of the exams; Dickies exam was on top. He knew what will happen soon. The faint sound of screaming triggers the vine to make Dicke victim for the last time. It is bigger than before and engulfs any form of hope he has. "I can't do this anymore!" Dickes last night at home was tragic, after arrived at the empty house, the puddle of tears grew and grew until the stream stopped and the pain left forever.