MHS successful candidate no its actually pretty good, u have an extensive vocab which is really helpful, and the suspense u build will be helpful in the exam. but the thing is some of the vocab u use does not make sense in the context, like the sentence "My eyes were a rhythm of up and down fluctuations" could be proofread and changed to "My eyes scanned my surroundings franctically" or something similar. U should practise writing narratives in 20 minutes on paper, just search for a prompt, start a timer and then write, and when you're done or the time is up review it, proofread it, see where u made mistakes and take note of them for next time
1 word story...
mhsbandar MHS successful candidate KEEP IT GOING UNTIL JUNE 14TH!!
mhsbandar oh I see, thanks!!!
chxin YEAHAHHA
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MHS successful candidate ye fr at JAC u would be a 17 achiever!!17 is a good mark so be proud
chxin Oh thanks!!!!!!
chxin fr bro hope to see both of u and @Chakraboi at mhs
chxin when's ur test?
14th june
i_need_mental_asylum we are all cooked,also hows macrob? like is it true that there is a basemnt with minors it?
chxin bro 
chxin yes we get to feast on them every month
mhsbandar good luck!!
9 days later